Contributor: Ellie S. Vend

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A body with apps
with characters I wear
and each one a painting
each a piece of personality
a facet of me
carefully cultivated
with an eye toward perfection
placing every artistic detail
so carefully

identifiers
so my friends know where to find me
no matter who I am,
what side of me I'm wearing

hazers
to help me blend with the crowd
when I'm feeling introspective
or in a hurry
flitting from errand to errand

and the ability to tinker
to sew new patches
on new sides of self
to ink my own new tattoos
to lay down elegant lines
on skin that can change color and tone
with a thought
make them mobile
make my whole being a canvas
I can save and switch to blank
at a whim
in the space
of a breath.

freedom
true freedom
to be a man one day
to be a woman the next
to be someone undefined
when it suits me
to blur the line
to play with it
to dance over it
and around it
and celebrate it
and make a thousand human masterpieces
and wear them all
and wear them all
and each only when it suits me.


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Contributor: Ellie S. Vend

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Long blond hair
pretty pink earrings
is that a man?
does it matter?
get used to seeing us.

Shaved head
great abs
is that a woman?
does it matter?
get used to seeing us.

Combat boots
tattoos
sequin dress
glitter beard
and earrings to match
they're just clothes.
it's just a look
so hey,
get used to seeing us.


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Contributor: Ellie S. Vend

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Wish I had the ovaries
to be this, to wear that
wish I had the womb
to rise wise and proud
to tower in heels
to pad in flats
and all with equal ease.

Wish I had the ovaries
to be the me that I am inside
not hide, but rise
and cultivate the confidence
to open my hands
to take the lefthands
and the backhands
and the dark stares
and the trash talk
as compliments.

Wish I had the ovaries
to stand without quavering
to be steel staunch and solidly set
on a course of my own devising
without waivering
without wondering
if maybe I'm making a mistake
if maybe I'm making
a million meaningful little mistakes.


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Contributor: Ellie S. Vend

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To start with nothing
to start with hard dirt
to start with clay over concrete
with rusty nails
and shattered glass
to start with salt and ashes
to start with hands
and dig
until your nails are chipped
until your palms are worn
and bleeding
to see tiny drops
become tiny seeds
to see trees
soaring between earth and sky
to see miracles
come to life in increments
to see change
in hours spent like seconds
in years spent like days


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